This story's old but it goes on and on

Bernadette Castillo July 25, 2016

Brand New / Modest Mouse | 07.23.16 | Austin360 Amphitheater

Before I even begin talking about this show I need to say that getting to photograph Brand New is something I've always wanted and dreamed of doing, but never thought I'd actually get the chance to do so. They don't usually allow photographers to shoot their shows (aside from festivals I suppose) but when I started seeing photographers I really admire posting images from their sets I knew I had to try and get in to shoot. Honestly, I figured I wouldn't be able to get in with my name alone, but I sure as hell was going to try. And as the day of the concert crept up, I had almost given up the hope I had getting media approval but on Friday I got the email I had been cleared to shoot Brand New's set the next day. Lately, I've been doubting myself and just feeling bummed about not photographing or going to as many shows as I used to. The whole reason I started this blog was with the hope of using it to be able to photograph my favorite bands and write about them... and I was able to do just that and I am so grateful and humbled by that. For me, getting into this show was a big freaking deal. I also need to say there's no way I'd even be able to do this without all the support from my friends and family. They've always encouraged me and believed in me when I (pretty much constantly) doubt myself. My photography is always something that I do completely for myself, but I completely dedicate it to them because there's no doubt I owe this to them for all their support. It means the world to me, and I hope you know exactly who you are.

The day of the concert was a crazy one and it was also my mom's birthday. I felt a little selfish about trying to get into a show the same day, but I also knew that of course my mom would understand that this opportunity to photograph a band that I really love is a dream come true. The day was a blur honestly, and I did get to spend time with my mom for her birthday for a bit before I had to get ready for the show. I was such a bundle of nerves trying to get to the venue and kept forgetting things as I was leaving my apartment but finally made it where I needed to be at 7, with 15 minutes to spare. My heart was pounding as 7:15 approached, and as it turns out, the show had been pushed back 30 minutes... which only prolonged my anxiety. A few of my best friends were at the venue, at the barrier, and kept sending me messages of encouragement. Our points of contact were so kind and helpful and the the time finally came for us to be escorted into the photo pit. I walked along looking for my friends, found them, exchanged hugs, and then I took my spot in the photo pit and I am not going to lie, I was trembling a little bit.

Brand New took the stage and I could not believe I was actually there about to photograph some of their set. Of course the three songs (that I was singing along to, of course) went by entirely too quickly, and we were escorted out of the pit back up to a tent along the far right side of the venue. I've seen Brand New a handful of times these past couple years with some of my best friends; it was unreal photographing them, and it was weird to be at a distance watching the rest of their set when I am so used to being in the thick of it, being pushed against the barrier, screaming the lyrics. This time I was surrounded by people casually talking and on their phones. Whenever I've seen Brand New, the crowd's been pretty rowdy with lots of pushing and crowd surfing, but whenever I looked into the crowd, it didn't seem too be too crazy. What was cool though which I don't normally get to hear while I'm in the pit with everyone was was the crowd singing along with Jesse Lacey and that put such a smile on my face. I always think that's such a beautiful thing, to hear the chorus of voices at concerts. Jesse and Vincent are mesmerizing to watch and it was during one song in particular that I can't remember for the life of me that Garrett's bass line was just perfect. I was fangirling the entire time, but especially when they played Noro and when Okay, I Believe You but My Tommy Gun Don't segued into Degausser. Brand New always puts on such a show and I hope this wasn't the last time I'll get to see them, but now at least I can cross getting to photograph them off my bucket list.

Photographing the first three songs at bigger name concerts is pretty standard, which can be frustrating when I'm so used to photographing smaller, more intimate sets the entire time because there are no camera policies. But sometimes, you'll get to shoot the encore, and I guess sometimes, if you're really lucky, you get to photograph the entire set, which ended up being the case with Modest Mouse. I'm nowhere near as big of a fan of Modest Mouse as I am with Brand New, which isn't a very fair comparison, but I definitely like their music, I'm just not as familiar with it. They put on a killer show, and I really wish I recognized more than a handful of songs. Every single band member was so fascinating to watch and sounded so great. I lasted in the photo pit until their fourth encore song and I just couldn't cut it anymore... I also knew at that point that I had definitely photographed everything I could and I was just so freaking exhausted. Gauging from the girl hysterically crying behind me and all the people I saw dancing, I know people were having a fantastic time and really enjoying the show.

It's been a couple days and I think I'm still in disbelief that I got this opportunity. Below I've split the images from the show into two different sets and I hope people understand how important the chance to capture these images are to me because I still find this whole experience unreal.

Songs just like prayers

Bernadette Castillo July 5, 2016

Gregory Alan Isakov | 07.02.16 | Emo's

Oh boy, it's been an insane weekend with too much fun in the sun of which I'm still feeling a little bit of the side effects, which is why I'm just now getting these images posted. The last show I shot was the beginning of June and it was eating at me! My 52 week project keeps me photographing each week, but nothing compares getting to photograph a show and I requested to get into this one at practically the last minute, so I'm grateful I got approved because it was much needed for me.

Admittedly, I'm not too familiar with Gregory Alan Isakov, but I knew if he was in town, it was a show that I had to catch and I feel really lucky that I got approved to photograph what I believe was a sold out show. Langhorne Slim opened the show and commanded that stage for his short set. It's been a while since the last time I've seen a solo artist play completely solo and it was refreshing.

Gregory Alan Isakov actually took the stage early, which happens so rarely! I was waiting by the photo pit for the 5 minute clearance when the lights went down, haha. During the first song there was practically no lighting and I might have been seething internally while simultaneously praying that it would only last for the first song and for the next two songs I'd get more light to work with. Sure enough the lighting changed and was totally a part of the show and used very deliberately... I feel like a lot of the shows I end up shooting tend to be smaller and not much thought is put into how the lighting accompanies the music being played... but that was not the case with this show. The lighting was as much as part of the show as the music being played (which is totally how it should be). Isakov's music is even more lovely live and I'm bummed that I had to leave early because I wasn't feeling too great but I wanted to make it to The Stable Song and just when I thought to myself that I might just have to leave before it was played, Isakov segued into that very song.

As I was making my way out, I heard him say that this run would be the last for a while, but just like all good things, more music will take time.

A song that's too perfect for words

Bernadette Castillo June 8, 2016

Gates / La Dispute / Thrice | 06.07.16 | Emo's

I have been beyond stoked for this show since it was announced back in January. I feel like Thrice had been teasing a comeback forever at this point and I was anxiously waiting the day they'd make it back to Austin. Combine that with the fact that La Dispute was opening for them and I was in heaven. If you know me at all, you know that La Dispute is one of my all time favorites and such and important band to me. Ironically enough, I saw them the first time I saw Thrice at Emo's but didn't care back then.... funny how much things change in a few years.

Of course I bought my ticket for this show as soon as they went on sale, but then I thought, why not try and shoot it? I've been dying to photograph La Dispute for as long as I've been a fan of because the energy of their shows is just transcendent and I've wanted to shoot Thrice for something like six years. I knew I couldn't get into the show with a publication and I had tried to email publicists for bands before without much luck but for some reason I just had a good feeling about trying to get in touch with La Dispute's manager. Long story short, he was kind enough to get me in with a photo pass for the show and I am forever grateful. Getting to photograph this line-up was nothing short of a dream come true.

I didn't get the chance to listen to very much of gates before this show, but I remember enjoying what I heard. I will say they seemed better live and their energy was so mesmerizing. Their sound and energy compliments La Dispute and Thrice perfectly, so I immediately knew this show was going to be even more epic than I imagined.

Before La Dispute's set I warned one of my buddies that I was going to make him look after my camera bag because I had every intention of jumping into the pit after my three song limit. I was still in disbelief to be in the photo pit photographing one of my all time favorite bands and it was seriously challenging because there was hardly any stage light and Jordan, the vocalist, jumps around all over the place, super quickly. I was that girl singing along in the photo pit with a stupid grin on my face I'm sure and I was happy to see there was quite a bit of jumping and singing along from the crowd. After the three songs, I threw my camera in my backpack, made a beeline to find my friends, tossed one of them my backpack and pretty much threw myself in the pit. I know I'm beyond biased, but La Dispute's music is just so powerful and meaningful and that makes it emotional. Everyone in the pit was having a good time and looking out for each other and at one point, I have no idea who was next to me, but we all hugged it out while we were all screaming the lyrics and jumping around.

It was just as difficult to photograph Thrice with their light situation and I was just as incredulous that I was getting the chance to photograph this band. I couldn't find my friends fast enough after my three songs, but I finally did and surprisingly had a decent vantage point. They played older songs I'd always wanted to hear live but hadn't until that point and songs that I never excepted them to play. I flipped when The Long Defeat transitioned into Wood and Wire and that I got to hear Daedalus; I was also so pleasantly surprised when they played In Years to Come and thought it very fitting. One of my favorite things about live music is being in the crowd surrounded by people who are just as excited to be there as you are and hearing hundreds of people singing along to music you love.

I think there's a general consensus that Mondays and Tuesdays are the worst days of the week but this week my Monday and Tuesday nights were pretty fantastic. I took the day off after the showbecause I knew I would be hurting if I didn't, and got to spend it with one of my close friends who I haven't spent time with in a while.... this could very well shape up to be one of the best weeks ever.

All of this time I've been wandering...

Bernadette Castillo May 15, 2016

From Indian Lakes | 05.13.16 | Sidewinder

Seeing From Indian Lakes this past Friday was all I had been looking forward to these last couple weeks and especially after this week which was really frustrating on many different levels. I've been a fan for a several years now and I couldn't tell you how many times I've seen them live over the years but I can tell you it's never enough... this music is something so very special to me. It's gotten me though my college days and gets me though navigating post-grad "adulthood."

I was lucky enough to catch an acoustic set from them when I was up in the Pacific Northwest with one of my good friends at the end of February and it was pretty much every wonderful word you could think of (especially in Portland because oh my goodness did I fall in love with that city), so you can imagine my excitement when I found out they were making a stop in Austin to play an acoustic set.

As I looked around before the show started, it was pretty packed, and that made me so happy because for years I'd go to see FIL open for bands and no one really knew who they were, but I feel like especially the past couple years more and more people have heard about them and know the music. I didn't get very many images of them, but Atlas Youth opened the set and I really enjoyed them! I hope I get to catch them again soon since they are based here in Austin, so I'm looking forward to that, hopefully sooner rather than later.

This show was beautiful, it truly was. And it was exactly what I needed after this week. From Indian Lakes blows me away every time. An acoustic set is pretty different from a "regular" full band set, but it's just as, if not, more magical. It's more stripped down, and I could pick up on more of the nuances of Joey/ Justin's voices (and their harmonies) and guitars. You could also hear the crowd singing along softly, which blew me away because like I said earlier, I feel like it's only been relatively recently here in Austin that people are familiar with them... I was used to only being me and a few of my friends singing along, but I can totally get used to this. My only complaint, if you can even call it that, is that it was over too quickly, but I think I'm just being greedy.

Even though I'm sure I have like, 15 favorite From Indian Lakes songs, this one has stayed in the set and I just have to share it here because I was so happy about it (and will probably do a photo based off of it at some point).

I also realized I haven't blogged about a show since the last time I was at the venue and considering that I've shot several shows since then (albeit for another publication!) that's not alright! I might post galleries from those later because I'd like to share those images.

Just as you cannot contain the sea...

Bernadette Castillo March 27, 2016

O'Brother / Foxing | 03.25.16 | Sidewinder

I have been looking forward to this show since it was announced back in mid- January because I love both of these bands and the energy at their live shows... the icing on the cake was getting to see the show with a couple of my close friends.

I first heard of O'Brother back in 2011, right before I saw them open for Thrice the first go around and it's been a couple years at least since the last time I got to see them live. I got to see Foxing open for Brand New back in 2014 when they blew my mind and I have loved them ever since... they are just something else.

This night was also the release date of O'Brother's new album Endless Light which is a great album. I have to admit, I wasn't a huge fan of their previous release because Death of Day and Garden Window are up there on the list of my favorite records, but Endless Light is solid. Since it was the release day of their album, I didn't expect the to play much of their older stuff but I was so excited when they played a couple off of Garden Window, and I especially fangirled when they played Ascension, which is one of my absolute favorite songs of theirs. One of my favorite things about O'Brother as a band is the range the vocalist, Tanner. It's so incredible with the notes he hits and sustains.

I don't know how to describe seeing Foxing live, other than magical. Everyone in that band is just so talented and the music they play and how they perform is just so emotional. It was pretty packed, and the singer Conor kept saying how grateful and humbled they were to be up on that stage and how it's easy to be jaded in life but that it was moments like that that make it worth it... that's actually much less eloquent version of what he said, but these guys are truly amazing.

I wish I could more accurately and eloquently recount just how lovely this show was, but in my old(er) age I'm finding I don't bounce back as quickly anymore and I had seen Underoath a couple nights before and was still feeling that show. Just know if you get the chance to see either of these bands, you have to. I already know it's going to be way too long until I get another chance to see them.

Bernadette Castillo February 19, 2016

Sharks in the Deep End | 02.18.16

I'm going to keep this short, since I didn't go to this show with the intention of shooting it... it was more an instance of knowing myself well enough to know that if I didn't bring my camera along with me, I'd be bummed out and it's better to have it and not use it, than to not bring it and wish I had. Which, I don't think there's ever been a time where I've brought my camera and not used it, but I digress.

I've known Tucker (and his fiance Sarah) since I went to one of his shows back when I was a freshman in college and remember really enjoying his music. I've kept in touch pretty much ever since, although I haven't seen either of them in probably about two years, which is seriously way too long! Fast forward to last night, where Tucker had his first show with a new band, Sharks in the Deep End. I knew I absolutely had to make it out, especially since I hadn't seen anyone in so long!

The space for the show was actually a photography studio and was really cool! There was almost this house show vibe because of that. And the show itself was incredible. Tucker is an awesome musician himself, and the bands he was in previously were all great and the guys in those bands were all really talented, but there was just something else about this new project. I talked to Tucker after the show and told him this exact thing and how it was just next level. Everything sounded so good! It was so exciting getting to see him play again, getting to catch up a little with Sarah, and running into his mom, Dolores. They are all such wonderful, genuine people and it was so wonderful getting to see them all again!

It was just such a great night of awesome music and getting to see friendly faces I hadn't seen in forever.

Bernadette Castillo February 13, 2016

The Wealthy West | 02.12.16 | Teller's

It was my freshman year of college when a hall-mate from the dorm I was living in introduced me to The Rocketboys /the lead singer's, Brandon Kinder, solo project The Wealthy West. I remember immediately falling in love with the sound of both projects. I've followed The Rocketboys since then and have seen them countless times live, but never got the chance to see The Wealthy West live. When a release show for a new album was announced, I knew I had to make it out.

The venue was very cool--the look and feel of it was so intimate, and those are always my favorite type of venues. There stage was in the corner upstairs and throughout the night it was hard to move without bumping into people, that's how full the space was. The show itself was really awesome (and I got to hear an old favorite song of mine!). Brandon started of the night with a few songs, and then several of his friends would take turns sharing the stage and their music. I don't think I've ever been to a show that mixes up the musicians like that and it was so wonderful to see.

The evening was so relaxed, and I didn't spend much time photographing honestly. I always enjoy shooting, but sometimes I get so caught up in photographing that I am not truly experiencing what's happening in front of me, so this time around, I tried to make more of an effort to actually watch, not just see things through my viewfinder. Music is something that I live for, and a night with good music and one of my closest friends by my side just soothed my soul after a long week at work.

Bernadette Castillo February 11, 2016

This Will Destroy You | 02.09.16 | Barracuda

A friend and I have tried to see This Will Destroy You the last couple times they've been in town without much luck, so, when I saw the band was playing a show here in Austin, I immediately messaged her about it. I was so excited about finally getting to see these guys live but when I finally went to buy a ticket they were sold out. I hardly ever sleep on buying concert ticket and I was so bummed, but I asked my friend if she'd be willing to just try and see if we could get in, and I wasn't above trying to sneak in or anything to be perfectly honest. We figured we could show up to the doors and feel out if anyone was selling a couple extra tickets or maybe beg the doorman to get in. When it comes to shows, I ain't too proud to beg! The night of we walk down to the venue and the guy told said that he didn't want to guarantee us anything, but that we could check back in a bit when TWDY was about to take the stage. It was a maybe and that's all we really needed, so we just ducked into a bar to kill some time and catch up, which was wonderful. After a while, we walked back over to the venue and up to the doorman with a "hey again, we got any chance?" To which he just asked for our IDs and let us in for free since he "made us come back." For a sold out show, the place was pretty empty once we made it in. TWDY hadn't started yet, so it was pretty much kismet for us to finally get to see them. Once they were about to take the stage the place filled up pretty quickly, and the energy in the room was pretty electric. I wish I could put it more eloquently but these dudes seriously just rock. For me, a large part of enjoying muisc is due to lyrics. Sure it's melodies and the actual music itself, but it's also the lyrics that rope me in. Not to say I don't enjoy all instrumental music because clearly I do. I'm meaning to say that it's real when I just enjoy what is played and feel the music without having words that I relate to or find relevant or gripping. It was the music itself I seriously connected with, especially in the live setting, and that's a truly awesome thing.

P.S. RIP former Red 7 where the last show I saw there was La Dispute during FFF Fest after it'd been shut down. I was pretty bitter about it being painted completely white, but I digress.

The Angst in My Veins

Bernadette Castillo February 6, 2016

Capsize | 02.03.16 | Dirty Dog Bar

I've been itching to see Capsize again since I saw them for the first time back in Summer 2014 on The Common Vision tour with Being As An Ocean. I hadn't heard of them before that night, or any other band that was playing... I was really only there to see Being As An Ocean. I remember that night surprisingly well, considering that was over a year and a half ago. I remember being so happy to get to catch a show after the first week at my new "grown up" job with my good friends and it turned out to be such a great night of music. I saw Counterparts for the first time that night as well and I remember ducking into another venue next door to catch a local band in between sets (RIP Red 7 and Holy Mountain) .

So fast forward to present day where I've definitely gotten more into the "hardcore" scene, or whatever you'd like to call it-- I'm terrible at classifying genres, and I don't particularly like to, honestly. When I found out Capsize was making a stop here in Austin at a small venue, not far from my office building, and on the cheap, I knew I had to make it out to the show and snap some pictures. Going 2 weeks without seeing or shooting a show gives me the sads, let alone the 2+ months I've gone since actually shooting a show, so you know a year and a half of wanting to see a band live is too damn long for me. So needless to say, I was freaking stoked to see Capsize.

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There were a lot more bands than I was expecting playing this night, and I'm going to be honest, I didn't find them particularly enjoyable or entertaining. Maybe it was the lack of a real crowd, because Dirty Dog was a lot bigger than I expected and there weren't many people to fill up the place. Maybe it was that I wasn't getting decent pictures. Or maybe it's because I didn't feel a particular connection with what was happening on stage. The people who were in the crowd seemed to enjoy it, so that counts for something, I just wasn't feeling it... until Capsize took the stage. I was shocked to see so few people crowding around the stage when they came on but that didn't stop the guys from completely commanding the stage when they started playing and I really loved that. The energy and passion they put into playing was real to me and while I was mostly focused on photographing, there were times where I found myself just immersed in these guys' performance. It could have been easy for them to phone it in because there weren't that many people there but they didn't, and I seriously respect that so much. Their set was over entirely too quickly and the place cleared out fast, which bummed me out cause I thought they had put on a great show, but I did take advantage of that to be my awkward self and ask the guys if I could take some photos for my on-going portrait series (which my friend actually did most of the asking for me, haha).

The guys were all so nice and I had a lovely run in with the vocalist's mom who was so sweet and so adorable. We got to talk a little about music and tours and she was just so proud of her son and the band and after seeing them live, it's completely evident as to why. Listening to their albums you can hear the growth and progression but then to see that manifest live was just fantastic.

Brand New | Emo's East | Oct 2015

Bernadette Castillo January 26, 2016

I see it only fitting that my first post to this blog would be about a pretty epic tour that was announced earlier today: a Brand New/ Modest Mouse co-headlining tour. This is old news at this point, but it's a pretty big freaking deal because it was/ is all over my Facebook feed hours later and of course because it's BRAND NEW and MODEST MOUSE.

At work this morning, my friend mentioned that one of her friends had posted about a rumored Brand New/ Modest Mouse tour, and as much as I wanted to believe her, I just didn't. "Jesse and his wife just had a baby! I know they're working on a new album but this last tour run they said was going to be the last one for a while." In the back of my mind, I knew bands go on "breaks" all the time and come back way sooner than expected, but I was still skeptical because, you know, expectations vs. reality. Don't mess with my heart, my fangirl heart can't take it.

Probably less than an hour after she had mentioned it though, I refresh my feed and simultaneously check my phone notifications to see Brand New's announcement, with a poster, and a link to the presale which had already gone live (which caught me off guard because one of the things I pride myself on is keeping up with presales!) with a couple dates here in Texas.

Of course, presales have closed for most of the cities listed already, but they go on sale to the public Friday at noon local time! I would not be surprised if the Austin360 Ampitheater sells out relatively quickly, so best of luck to those who want tickets! I only tried to access the presale this morning when it was announced and my wait time to access the tickets was over an hour.

An Introduction of Sorts...

Bernadette Castillo January 26, 2016

I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to realize this but after a revelation at work yesterday, a reaffirming talk with my mom, what seems like endless support from some of my friends, and the realization there's no point in me regretting not doing this much sooner...It's been such a long time coming, but I'm officially starting a music blog.

It seems like all I've really wanted to do for a while is take pictures at shows and write about them. I've looked into doing it for publications... but why not just do it for myself? That's all this photography has ever been: for me. I don't do it because I think it's cool (even though photography itself is amazing). I do this because I need to, it's not a mere want for me, it's something I need to do. I also need to make more of a concentrated effort in sharing my images and words with people.

Maybe my goals are too idealistic, but there was a promise I made to myself not too long ago that I would just do, do things that I wanted, go after them. So stay tuned for what I hope will be a lot of my pictures, my words, and my fangirling.

This blog is dedicated to everyone who has ever believed in me and everyone who has inspired me. I wouldn't be here, typing this out, doing this, if it weren't for y'all.